got 7th ever?

"they don't know how to judge better works..!"
haha..
this was the first thing i thought right after i heard my name mentioned as the 7th placer during DSPC..
like..blah2..whatever..
i was screaming out loud, right after that..LOL.. i even tried to go back while we, my teacher and i, were on our way to the stage.. shockz! that was..uhm..uhm.. a big SAYANG..yuck! it was as if..i really wanted time to go back.. like, a 1-day rewind..i would then, fix my article and make it better.. i would then, not waste any single second of the 1-hour span that was given to us during the contest.. i would then, instead of staring at nowhere, write every significant word i could think..
why do i feel like i want to stand on a cliff and jump?that's exaggeration.. of course, i won't.. revise..revise.
why do i feel so trembled here and want time to go back? because.....
ONLY THE TOP 5 ARTICLES WILL BE JOINING THE RSPC AT KIDAPAWAN THIS DECEMBER 3,4 and 5..
wow! at that very moment i knew i got 7th.. i was screaming to the top of my lungs! not that thing you're thinking.. of course, i didn't do that wearing my brown Notre Damean uniform, risking our own school's name.. i shouted..inside..which only my butt can hear..haha

i was a broken tape..yelling at sir michael..(i didn't have much voice that time.. i needed to shout..) telling him to go to the jurors and ask again and again if were they really serious in saying that they would only get the top 5.. i kept saying that for about how many times already.. indeed, it was a relief to know that sir michael is an ideal person, a kind one.. very supportive.. he didn't mind the things i was uttering at him.. he was just, simply, smiling at me.. as if really to shout.."ok ra nah!"
and another thing i kept bugging was that.. it has been a usual routine that they're going to get the top 7 for the RSPC.. it's so disappointing that by the year i decided to take revenge(harsh..harsh..i mean, give it a try again..), that's the time they decided to take the top 5..and damn, i'm 7th..how bad.. i've been thinking of paying them..and forcing them to change their decision and turn it to top 7..gosh.. i even thought of begging them and kneeling in front of them..everything..i would do.. to satisfy my vanity..ü is it vanity? rather..to escape myself from insanity..? haha.. or just simply my nature? to annoy till death..

actually, the thing i said bout how *ungood(is there such word existing?) were they in judging? never mind that.. they were good..i just didn't give my best.. i got 7th though.. haha.. very proud..my fellow schoolmates did get ranks, too.. a salute to them..whooo! and u know, during the contest.. i wasted about 15 minutes.. reading and reading my newly-made article, then blinking and blinking..then, trying to sleep..can you believe that? no wonder, i lost..haha
the fact is that, i am not really sad nor happy about the results.. but, i just feel glad by the experience.. and i regret how i let those years passed by..those 3 free years.. those years i've let go because of fear of losing.. i nagged myself bout that.. i should have joined DSPC during those years..mMmM? maybe..i might still get the chance to be in the top and be at the RSPC..
gosh..time has passed by..no way to turn it back..

no way..and i'd be having my saliva flowing from my open mouth as i listen to my fellow schoolmates who would be joining that sucking 3-day event..no way, too! i still have my OWN achievements, though..