he can't read this.he doesn't know this site.but to those people who know him, ssssh.. don't mention his name here..mmmp!

i hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself..

because I am so sick. Because I am so weak. because I am so weak. so weak. so weak. because i love him. because i love the person whom i shouldn’t. i love him. but i shouldn’t because he has a girlfriend.

you don’t know how much i care for you. how much i want to love you. how much i want you to be mine. how much i want you two to stop your relationship. you don’t know how much i wanted to hug you during my bday. you don’t know how many tears i shed for you. you don’t know how awkward being with you, when you’re trying to ignore me. you don’t know how it hurts seeing her messages and comments in your friendster. you don’t know how those rip my heart. you don’t know because you don’t care.

all these years, i am still waiting for you. i wait for you. although i don’t know if there is really someone to be waited. i hate myself because of all the people, why you? and i hate myself.. because after all those years, you are still the one i love?you are still the one i wish to be with my side. i hate you..because you can’t see me. i hate you because i love you!

you are no one but not a boyfriend-material. i love you.. i can love you more than she can. i can give you what you want more than she can. i love you..although you’re not my type. i love you although i hate you..

i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate seeing you because it hurts too much.. you don’t know how much.. because you don’t love me..
the fact is you really don’t care bout me..bout how i am suffering..how i consider you as a special someone. you don’t care and you won’t..

i love your smile.. your jokes.. they’re killing me.. the way you love your gf.. i hope you would do all those things to me and not to her.. i keep on telling how supportive i am when it comes to ur love life.. but deep inside me is a burning hell. each night..each night i remember you is hell.. it is so painful and i don’t know how to stop it or how to control it.. i always grant your requests whether they’re impossible or not. i make things possible for you.. and each day i hope you would do the same.. although it is so painful fixing your friendster when i see her msgs and comments and etc. i still try to ignore the pain because i know you won’t love me back. because i know she’s the one you think is for you..because only she can make you happy..because i know there is no hope for the two of us..anymore..

yes, we had a past.. an unconfirmed past..but you totally removed everything that happened to us.. and now, i keep on asking myself why can’t i do the same..why can’t i just fool myself in hating you and ignore your presence.. you don’t know how it hurts!you don’t know how hard..you don’t know..because i know that you don’t care.. you don’t..

neglecting is the best solution for this..but it is the least possible thing i can do..it is the least possible thing i can force myself to do because it won’t be effective..because it won’t work..because the more i see you..the more it hurts me..the more you bug me, the more i’m bothered. the more you love her, the more you make me feel alone. the more you tell her you need her, the more i need you..

i hate myself for falling for you because you won’t catch me anyway.. whatever i do..i would just be broken. i would just be hurt.. i would just be alone. i would just be in pain..and you would just always ignore and leave me..to be with her..

i don’t hate her.. i don’t hate her for loving you.. but i hate myself for loving you knowing there isn’t no hope..no hope..but i still am waiting for you no matter how i force myself to give to others every thing i give to you.. i am waiting for you to come and catch me.. and love me back.


October 28, 2008. i did this when i was so obssessed with this someone.. just a remembrance.. bother not to read..Ü

i had an overflowing feelings for him.. then, i didn't know if it would change or be alleviated.. but, it did...Ü

hiya na tuloy aq......mmmmp....