memories of yesterday

i’ve always treated them as my very bestfriends. i miss all of them.. i mean, it has been a long time since we hang out. as friends, as classmates or as batchmates. i miss them.

firstly, because they were the only ones who gave me the true meaning of the word bestfriend. though, i was the only girl in the group. they treated me not as a girl but as a friend. they may not think the same way but my elementary life was so memorable because of them.

secondly, they act as if they forgot everything about me. I miss all the teases, the senseless arguments, the endless walking and the deafening laughters we had. I miss them. so much. this does not mean that i found no bestfriend in my HS life but then, what I’m trying to yell now is the pain i have inside right now. the pain of needing. oh gosh.

thirdly, they can not even send a msg to me. or try to communicate with me. what the hell? am i really that insignificant to them? i don’t brag for their attention as what you may think while you’re reading this. but, i sincerely expose my anger and this despair i feel. that’s all.

fourthly, everytime we see each other. they don’t even bother to say hello or wave simply to me. or maybe, they can not even take a glimpse at me. as if, they do not even see me. you know, it’s quite unfair. after all those years we’ve been close friends, just because i transferred to a different school, they’d forget everything? what the heck.

fifthly, i am always the one who annoys them. for them to go near. so we can talk. shet.. and everytime we talk to each other, facing me is like a big burden to them.. they can’t look at my eyes directly. oh my gosh! what is really wrong with them? nothing has changed with me. nothing. that is what i’m telling them, showing them. nothing has changed. but i guess, they did. they did and it’s very unfair. that is not fair.

i need to forget everything and stop hoping that something would change.

merry christmas.

dec. 23, 2008.

8:04pm