so, what is really wrong with me?

i want to cry right now. but i just don't know why. I'm making this blogsite a dump site, dump site of my unstability.
I get so irritated everytime i remember all the mistakes and regrets I've done..that no matter how i try to erase all of those in my mind, they just won't fade away..but they do otherwise, they tend to dig into my sanity more and more..i just have nothing to do but bump my head more to the wall..
why do i have to feel this way? and i really feel so bad about the things i've done. and i curse myself because i am a such a loser for being so careless in saying words and in executing actions..
may 25,2007.. oh how can i forget that date? i would never ever forget the day when i lost the only thing that i shouldn't have lost.. dignity..
and now? i get crazy trying to bring it back again.. win it back..