neglection

i still can't believe i feel this..
why does it have to be like this?
why is loving always accompanied with hurting?
why can't i just stay numb..forever..

..

this hurts me so much..
and i can not take it, i swear..
but i'm trying..
i just can not stay shut and ignore every pain..
i just can not stay at the corner and cry..
but, it's what happening now..


..

tell me..
do i really have the right to feel this?
i guess not..
i hate being jealous.. it is the last thing i want to do..
i hate being hurt..


..
i can move on, i know..