reflections.

ask yourself
1. What I have done for God?
2. What I am doing for God?
3. What will I do for God?

Looks familiar, eh? The first time I saw this in the road, I was really amazed. Tama ba ang term? Hehe. Pero ya. It is really an amazing sign.

What have I done for God? Ano nga ba? Totoo, nagsisimba ako every Sunday. Parang incomplete ang week ko kung di ako nakakapasok sa simbahan to be with Him. But, I always ask myself, am I really sincere? O baka naman, this act has become a routine. Just a routine. Hindi talaga yung NEED. Am I fooling Him? Naahhh. I love Him. I make sure I do not commit sins nor do bad things. Pero, am I doing good things for Him? Kung hindi ako gumagawa ng masama, does that mean gumagawa na ako ng mabuti for others? Hindi ba't loving others is loving God? Since we do not really physically touch Him, they are there---waiting to be touched.
Everytime I see these people--beggars, handicapped, less fortunate, it is as if my whole world is consoling them. I think of the long-term ambitions. "Kung mayaman lang ako, aampunin ko tong mga to." Is this for real? O baka naman way ko lang yun para mabigyang reason kung bakit ito lang ang nagagawa ko para sa kanila o natutulong ko at kung bakit hindi ko sila natutulungan ngayon.

What am I doing for God? Ano nga bang ginagawa ko para sa Kanya? Kung meron nga, enough na ba yon? Alam nating maraming nangangailangan ng tulong ngayon. And I feel so guilty, cause I haven't donated a bit. Gusto ko nang tumulong. Yes, before classes resume ( that means, I gotta go back to davao), I will help. :) KAILANGAN. To satisfy my own need. I don't want to be happy and merrying while I know that there are many who suffer.
What will I do for God? Change. Change. and Change.


IKAW?

Defying nature.

back to blogspot.
dugay napud ko diLi updated diri. For certain reasons. haha.
nganu nagpost napud ko? wala lang. wa koy mahimo. suko napud ko over something nga dili nako makontrol.
AM I A BAD FRIEND?
Nganong dili man jud nako mastop akuang sarili to get mad sa isa ka friend na dili kabalo magsunod sa tama? I mean many things about what I said.
These past few days, I can't manage to stop the anger or the whatyacall "tampo" sa isang friend. Kasalanan ko ba yun? I have always asked myself, that if this is my nature, why does the Bible require us to change? And God knows, how I try to change this nature. How many times I defied nature. Just because I rely on what the religious sectors are saying. But, nothing has changed. WALANG NANGYARI. Here I am, ganoon pa rin. Nagagalit at hindi marunong umunawa. Bakit ganon? Siguro, ganon na kapowerful si Satan sa akin na nagiging norm ko na'to.
Bakit?
Do those people in the convent feel the same way? I can't escape from who I am. No matter how I pray each night. Maybe, kulang pa yun. Kulang pa siguro. Mabait ako. And that's what my heart and my body are saying. Pero, hindi ko nga kayang pigilan eh!
Hindi talaga.
Minsan, naiisip ko. Yung mga kontrabida sa teleserye na sa ending nagiging mabait, magiging mabait ba talaga sila forever? How did they do that? How could they change themselves? Totoo ba talaga? Bakit ganon? Ba't hindi ko magawa?


IF THINGS GET WORSE. WHO WILL I BLAME?
AKO BA?

wa ko nainggit.

yes..mamiss jud nako ang SCS.
yes..mamiss jud nako ang NDGSC.
yes..mamiss jud nako ang mga teachers.
yes..mamiss jud nako si Sr. Ma. Virginia Balayon, OP.
yes..mamiss jud nako ang library.
yes..mamiss jud nako si Mam Ureta.
yes..mamiss jud nako ang high school.
yes..mamiss jud nako si tOooooot.

pero..
daghan pud ko dili mamiss.
kay daghan kog ginakalagutan ug daghan kog mga hard feelings nga
gitago nako for a long time..
just to maintain a very silent world..a very silent classroom..
and a very clean name..with a clean dignity..

when i graduated..i felt a total pain..dili lang kay mamiss nako sila
kundi na-feel nako ang discrimination..
no, that isn't the right word..
na-feel nako ang great unappreciation..
maybe, they all thought i was very strong and numb para di nako mafeel ang ilahang
mga reactions toward what just happened..
sa ilahang mga ulo...sa ilahang minds...understandings..
poor TOOOOOT...too bad she didn't get it to the top..
murag..tanan tao, felt sorry bout what happened to her.. tanan tao..
nasayangan sa iyaha..

and there i was... expecting for something..
something that i loved.. and wished to have..


pero... yes, she didn't get it.. yes, she wasn't able to get it to the top..
pero..she got all the sympathy of the people.. wala ko nainggit.. wala..
nalagot lang ko..kay murag..the whole world is consoling her..
oO. taas akung grades sa iyaha.. pero right after nako nawitness tanan..tanan..
after nako nadungog tanan...
nafeel nako nga i didn't deserve what i got.. murag mao to ang ginapafeel sa mga tao sa ako..
ginaingon nila nga baba na sa imuhang rank..
she deserves it more than you do..

nasakitan lang jud ko..
kay tong mga tao nga giexpect nako nga mu-take sa akuang side..
wala..
wala sila..


noone was comforting me..
unsa to?
unsa ilahang giisip? nga wala sila pakialam nga naa ko sa gilid while ginaingnan nila siya ug.."u deserve more.."
unsa to?
indirect insult?
kulang nalang..ingnon nila to sa akung face.. nga.. duh ui....dapat mas baba pa imuhang rank.. paggive way nalang gud..
makalagot lang ba.. wala jud ko nainggit sa iyaha or whatever..basta lang..

nakita jud nako..ang mga tao nga gilove nako..wala jud sila.. wala sila... when i needed them the most..
all i did was to smile over those pains i felt.. and i acted as if everything was fine..sala pud siguro nako..siguro, dapat naghilak.hilak pud ko... para iconsole ko nila..para mura pud ug ako ang victim...and they would tell i deserved better..

waiting for you as it hurts more.

at first i thought everything was just a simple crush..oh I guess, i was always wrong..i never thought something as huge as this could actually hit me, but it already did..in my eyes, you are just a childish junior student.. a junior student---a year younger than me..this may sound silly but the first time i laid my eyes on you, i already felt this excitement..and i guess that meant something..i spent a year trying to forget every little thing i felt for you and i really really thought i was gonna be okay without your cousin, since he was just the only person who connected the two of us..and i thought, i forgot you..but never in my life have i wished to feel this again..never..


i feel this love for you..i felt all the excitement, the kilig's, the kiliti's..and how foolish of me to think that we could at least be partners this promenade..oh Gosh..you are such an amazing guy..you are talented, but frankly saying, i am a lot better than you..that thing really makes me feel flattered for i know, there's still something in me that you may and can admire..you were my inspiration..you were the one i considered my clown because you make me feel happy and determined..you were the one i always thought whenever i step on to the gate of our school..oh, com'n! smile at me..these were the words i always wished whenever i take a glance on you..we're not friends..we're not even talking..but i am contented with that..

you cannot even look at me and say hi.. at least, we were once magkakilala, weren't we? and you were once my student, weren't you? i taught you Math right? do you remember? sometimes, i wish that LOVE is like mathematics that is easy to analyze and easy to understand..some think, it's nose bleeding..however, in contrast with that, love is just so complicated..and as you try to dig for an answer, it's hurting more..and as you wait, your heart bleeds..

drafts

well.. i haven't been updating my blogsite for how many weeks already..and surely, i missed this..let's say, i just couldn't find the inspiration to write..check my drafts.. i have lots of unfinished works..

feb 19-21, there was an event in our school..Mini fair.. it's an event which students would learn how to do business and stuffs like that..actually, the highlights were the octopus and the starry wheel..though, the tickets were absolutely expensive..there were other options, anyway.. uhm, zipline and the rappeling.. i tried both..and swear, both were really thrilling.. when i tried the zipline, i really really thought it was the end of my life..*laughs



honestly, i couldn't find the exact word to write. And this one was done last February. I just checked my drafts and boom, i found this unfinished article. And I am gonna finish this.
I am gonna miss the Mini Fair. Totally. Those high school days. Those memories. Maybe, you're already fed up with so much of my aftergraduation blogs. Ahehe. Peace.

waa.. i'm running out of words to say.:)
byebye for now.

hAppy!

i have a new crush..
Hahaha..
super hAppy..
mMmmh..
nOt *daga..

just a defense;no big deal

Philippines is a free country. yah right. but as what Sir Sapues has said, your freedom ends when mine starts. so what does that mean? you may have the right to oppose us but never in an improper way.. i mean, we also do have the right to admire a single thing, whether they mean to you or not.
so what if, we read twilight as often as you don’t?
what if, we scream if edward cullen’s picture is there?
what if, we put our names before “cullen”?
what if we can’t stop blabbering bout twilight?
what if our shoutout is bout twilight?
what if we always read twilight saga?
so what?
what does it do to you? what do we do to you?
nothing.. right? or you're just simply making a big thing from that. so why?
do we bother you? why care?
we all do have different tastes. We may share different opinions regarding a thing.. i may like this, you may not. so what? i have the right to choose what i think is good, and you can not oppose that.. why do you have to criticize the things we like? i mean, why do you bother to bother us of how we admire or appreciate or whatever, a thing?
why would you waste your time?
NO OFFENSE..

mMmf..
so kailangan talaga makialam?
LOL..